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We went to Lake Tahoe and look at what I saw!

The Falls Above Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe

The Falls Above Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe

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So, believe it or not, CBS5 in San Francisco actually ran a report on Monday, April 20, 2009 that a new study by London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine  has put forth the theory that fat people may be causing global warming because, among a number of allegations, they (the obese) are more apt to drive a car to a destination instead of walking or riding a bike.

Sheesh!  How could I resist submitting the following…. 

Managing Editor Peter Saiers

Your report that fat people are causing global warming.

Fighting Global Warming As Best We Can

Fighting Global Warming As Best We Can

With regard to global warming, in 1900 there were 1.6 billion people pooping, etc. +-.75 gallons per day.

In 1999 there were 6 billion people pooping, etc. +-.75 gallons of poop per day…not to mention the amount of cow poop from milk, cheese and beef production to feed an additional 4.4 billion people in the course of a mere hundred years.

Then consider the amount of pork poop, chicken poop and Al Gore poop generated every day.  Gore alone could probably take out a glacier.  Who cares about whether fat people in the USA drive more than thin people in Vietnam (as the study cites)? 

This kind of study is what you would expect from a couple of stoners with a calculator after a couple of loads.  Frankly, I’m amazed that the earth can continue to rotate smoothly on its axis with all of the added weight concentrated in the USA.  Never mind that population growth has exploded in Asia and the Indian sub-continent.

It is all about the poop!….and who is shovelling it.

Remember where you heard it first, or better yet, prepare yourself for the coming earth wobble.

It happened like a temptress in the night.  Funny or Die has sucked me into her web of time suckery with the caption of the day competition.

Refresh….refresh…how many funny votes?….oooooowh, some jerk just gave me a die.  Is this rigged?  Is there a cabal of f-or-d caption hoggers who have hundreds of relatives casting “funny” votes?

Crap.  That lame ass just got 7 more “funnies.”  It has to be a conspiracy.  My captions are the funniest.  Why don’t people “get” me?

After 23 years as a devoted Apple owner and advocate, I sit here today having set up this blog and writing this entry on a 5 year old Dell running Windows XP.

You see, Apple finally pissed me off.  The istores.  The istaff.  The free ipods with purchase for students and educators.

What about me?

I’ve been loyal.  I put up with all kinds of difficulties in the early days of Apple.  I even contributed to the antitrust list with Nader’s group to stop Microsoft.

But, after purchasing 10 Apple computers and tens of thousands of dollars worth of drives, cables, printers and software, I’ve had it.

I was ready to buy a new mac, but I saw that they were offering a free ipod with purchase for students.  I wanted the ipod.  I visited a number of stores where i-clerks asked me if I was a teacher, if I was enrolled, had a kid who was enrolled or even a neighbor kid who would come in with me to show I knew a student to qualify for a free ipod.

I explained that I finished school a long long long time ago, but continue to learn every day.  I explained that I had trained numerous employees and several classes of college students in the use of Apple computers for audio, video, photography and multimedia creative endeavors.

No luck.

I was first attracted to Apple in 1985 as an anti-computer, a culture of rebels who were intent on changing things.  As happens with most revolutions, Apple has grown to become a culture I no longer recognize or relate to.  Please don’t be offended, but it is kind of a digital Amway.

The last long line of iphone buyers I saw sent a chill down my spine as I remembered marching and standing in line to pee at Holy Trinity School.

There was a group of us who figured out a way around that (the Sisters of Mercy didn’t get guys).  The early Apple adopters would never have put up with that.

Steve Jobs was a college dropout, for Christ’s sake.

For that matter, so was Bill Gates.

So I walked.  I took an old Dell laptop to a guy who tuned it up and now I’m here.

I’m kind of liking it.

Not a joiner, never was.